The Real Housewives of Atlanta S07E09

I’m loving RHOA this season. Is anyone else?

In Cynthia news, she basically confirms that she’s financing her husband’s business, without actually saying she’s financing his business. I agree with her; they’re married, they share money, it’s no big deal. Except that Peter seems to have the most terrible sense for business any person has ever had. They’d be better off putting money into Lotto tickets.

I’m liking the new girl. What’s her name? Nine episodes in and I still need to check. Claudia. I’m on her team. She’s my new favourite.

Phaedra’s boring as ever. We get it, your husband’s the worst. We’ve known it since his first episode, nothing new. Why do they keep giving him talking heads? No one cares what you have to say, Apollo, you’re terrible. Let’s just focus on their kids for all of Phaedra’s scenes, there is no other reason to keep from flipping the channel (in my mind, I am imagining it is still 2002 and people watch television on televisions).

I’ll be interested in Phaedra again when she files for divorce and has an over-the-top party where she rides in on an invisible space unicorn.

Kenya, my former sworn enemy and now second favourite cast member gets what I can only assume is some hippie’s leftover breakfast rubbed all over her face while throwing shade at Nene and I’m loving every second of it. I feel like she drinks a lot of wine, and I respect that about her.

Nene is wearing a wig that makes her look like Miley Cyrus. I’ll take this scene to check my Instagram because I can’t look at her. Wait, Nene is getting job offers? That aren’t from Ryan Murphy? Who are these casing directors?

Why is she so mean? Remember when she used to be fun and friendly? Those were the days. I want her to land on some Ryan Murphy production that doesn’t get cancelled so she can quit the show and Porsha can just be mean and dumb alone.

Kandi’s job continues to confuse me. What does she do, exactly? I feel like she’s a high school theatre student with a video camera gone rampant in the halls. It pains me to say negative things about her when she’s one of the only likeable housewives left, but seriously.

Along with her job, Kandi’s party confuses me. Who is the woman she’s hired who wants to tie the guests together? This is a party I would not want to attend. In the least. At all. Ever. What’s wrong with regular, un-themed parties? Just drinking some cocktails and eating some appetizers and chatting like normal people.

Of course “Roger Bob” comes up again. Why does the girl dating him say “I’m dating Roger Bob”? Wouldn’t you say “I’m dating someone” or “I’m in a relationship”? It’s like yogurt commercials where people say, “I’m hungry for a Petite Danone” instead of “I’m hungry for a yogurt”. It is illogical to me. This girl clearly just wants to promote her album via RHOA and it’s uncomfortably obvious; why else would these randoms who also happened to date him be here?

Porsha doesn’t come in until more than halfway through the episode and I am eternally grateful for those 25 minutes worth of brain cells I saved. It’s agony listening to her speak.

Show’s over. Who wants to take bets on how many times we get to hear the name “Roger Bob” next episode? I bet eight million and three.

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Calgary Roughnecks Homeopener

Oh my, oh my, it has been awhile, hasn’t it. I apologize for my lack of updates; I blame it on my (very busy) new job and my affinity for reality television. However, one of my new years resolutions is to update more, even if that means I need to create a section where I just write about what happened on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and that Brandi is totally out of line and Lisa needs to kick her to the curb for good. I would read that, wouldn’t you?

Anyway, back to the post at hand, which I’m sure you can guess by the title is all about the Calgary Roughnecks.

Last night, I went to my very first Roughnecks game ever and I am now their biggest fan. The game was so great (even though we lost) and insanely fun. I’m thinking I need to become a season pass ticket holder.

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I don’t have experience with lacrosse, outside of high school gym class, and I had no idea that they can basically beat one another with sticks as they run up and down the field. Obviously, this is my new favourite sport. We had great seats so we could see all the action (read: beating one another).

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Loving how much padding the goalies wear, too.

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Hopefully, I’ll get to another game soon (every game?) and can keep drinking beer and yelling insults at the other team. Maybe I should get one of those megaphones all the annoying people in the crowd always seem to get their hands on. I’ll also do my very best to get great seats again since they sell Shock Top downstairs instead of the usuals.

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Until next time, deuces (my new favourite word from Total Divas)!

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Cuatro Crazy

Has anyone had Four Loco before? I became intrigued by it when it started killing frat guys in droves and getting banned in various US states. So when I saw it in Montana (a year ago!) I had to buy some.

It turns out they changed the recipe and it’s stopped killing binge drinkers, so I’m slightly less thrilled by it but also still terrified of it.

We bought it a year ago but didn’t decide to have it until now. Alcoholic sugar water doesn’t go bad, does it?

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Even with a new recipe we decided to split it because avoiding death is my main hobby.

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We bought strawberry lemonade flavour and it was pink. Very pink.

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It was also less refreshing than it looks and tasted a whole lot more like pure sugar than either strawberries or lemonade. Still, I drank it all because I have the mentality of a student and alcohol is not to be wasted.

Next time, I think it would be a great wasp trap.

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July Detox

The end of Stampede calls for the beginning of July detox. July detox is what I call the planned week-long but actually two-day health binge I partake in immediately following Stampede.

It is time to trade my Stampede liquid diet consisting of alcohol and the occasional deep-fried treat with my July detox liquid diet of water and various green liquids with the occasional fruit and vegetable.

The July detox is very easy to follow (for two days). All you need are matcha green tea.

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Powdered greens.

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Green tea.

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Water (I prefer mine fizzy, hence the SodaStream).

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And, of course, your running shoes! Gotta sweat out that beer!

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I’ll be back again in two days with bacon and cheesecake photos!

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My (second) favourite time of year

Guess whaaaaat!? That’s right, it’s everyone’s favourite time of the year; STAMPEDE!!

I’ve got my nerd shirts ready!

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My bandanas are ready!

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The buckles are ready for buckling!

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And the shit kickers are ready!

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Though I’m sure there won’t be much shit to kick, just cans to crush.

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GEEEEET PUMPED!!

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The Feminist in me Hates Pinterest

As many (most?) are probably aware, I am obsessed with Pinterest. I spend long hours looking for crafts and foods to make to amaze my family and friends. I also patrol the boards for grammatically incorrect and misspelled memes and ecards because I’m a good online citizen.

Recently, it isn’t merely the ignorant use of language which has me irritated, but the offensively sexist content I seem to repeatedly stumble across.

At least once in ever “popular”, “everything”, “health”, or “women’s fashion” categories you’ll stumble upon a weight loss pin, which is irritating but I’ll survive. However, much more offensive is other material being posted which includes cruel body shaming:

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Encouraging out daughters to be ashamed of their naked bodies:

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Silly posts implying women’s reliance on men and emotional vulnerability in relation to men:

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Apparently women are shopaholics spending money made by someone else on frivolous things they feel the need to lie about.

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Men are apparently the prizes in the game of life and other women are “crazy bitches” to compete against.

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And promotion of the ever popular “women are crazy” notion as well as the implication that appearance dictates personality:

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I’m downright sick of it. Though both sexes do participate on Pinterest, it’s largely female dominated and it’s worrisome to think that we as women are further promoting cruelty and negative energy toward our own gender.

That is all I have to say for now.

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Calgary Marathon

Hello friends,

Is anyone running in the Calgary Marathon this year?

Good job!

I ran the half last year and am hoping to improve my time.

I’m also thinking I’ll dress in less as it should be warmer.

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Excited to see the finishers medals this time around! Will they be the same?

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Good luck to everyone running!

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