I have some very exciting news. Exciting for me at least. I’ve decided to throw all of my morals and ethics out of the window and become a carnivore again. It happened Saturday, when I ran to the grocery store to quickly grab some food for lunch and came to the realization that I was going to have to have hummus for yet ANOTHER meal. It did me in. It pushed me over the edge. I have resigned myself to the fact that I am a horrible, selfish person who both wants and needs meat and dairy.
I celebrated with a giant spoonful of Nutella (HEAVEN!) and decided that I needed a bison burger as soon as feasibly possible. A friend and I were planning to go out to Hudson’s on Saturday (which we did), but things went horribly awry. Somehow, she got violently ill from alcohol intake. I say “somehow” not because I’ve disillusioned myself about the effects of alcohol, but rather because she had only had two glasses of wine and was unable to walk, stand, or speak coherently. I would have thought she had been drugged except that we had been at my place, and I tend to refrain from drugging my friends.
Basically, we attempted to go to Hudson’s. We got in, and by this point I didn’t quite realize how drunk she was, so we went to the bar. I’ve decided to attempt to recreate the event with a beautiful comic strip:
At this point I thought she just wasn’t paying attention, as she tends to do. But…
I gave her the benefit of the doubt. It was, albeit, quite loud. There were no tables available and people were crowded around the bar for fear that they may end up too far away and be unable to replenish their drinks as quickly as humanly possible when the time was necessary. However…
Yes, when she maniacally ordered a lone shot of tequila alone after I had ordered a beer, like a normal person, I thought maybe she’d had enough. And if she hadn’t quite had enough at that point, I’m thinking the tequila certainly did the trick, because the night when downhill from there. It was odd overall because I was dead sober and she was next to me, unable to stand.
We came to the conclusion that her inebriation was the result of not having eaten since breakfast and that she needed food, so we headed to District. This was both necessary for her and exciting for me because I was in desperate need of meat after eight months of living off of leaves and bark chips. However, this plan didn’t go over quite so well as she got even worse when we got in. First, she flashed her Visa instead of ID, to which the waitress just shock her head and let it slide, then she ran to the washroom to spew almost immediately after we ordered. Our waitress and the staff were awesome, thank goodness and boxed up our food so we could get her into bed with a bucket at close proximity.
After a highly eventful and odd cab ride, which included my friend sticking her head out the door every few feet to vomit and me running out into the street at one point to move a “ROAD CLOSED” sign (which I refused to believe as we had passed the same spot mere hours earlier and been fine), we finally arrived home.
I had ordered the bison burger, which was basically delicious, even when eaten hours later and after an adreneline-fuelled cab ride. I got yam fries too, which I’ve been living on at pubs, but which I had aioli with instead of barbeque sauce. BBQ is better, after months of not being able to eat mayonnaise I had forgotten that I actually hate it on account of the fact that it’s disgusting.
So overall, I had an eventful night, if not a bit odd. And the bison burger at District. Ohmyheck. Get it. I’m going for the brie and cranberry one next time.